Now I am not trying to insult the intelligence of anyone here nor am I insinuating anything. However I feel that it is important to dispel the misconception that a lot of people have with regards to showing affection for our dogs. I can totally understand the human desire to just go up to that cute dog and pour our affection onto him with kisses, pats, hug and so on. The situation is exacerbated if we adopted a dog who have had a rough life hitherto. Feeling sorry for him, we tend to shower him with even more affection and anything that we thought could possibly make his life better.
That is the most fundamental mistake that most of us make, especially dog owners who have had no experience with dogs before. I was once there as well, I made the mistake of pouring my beloved dog with my immense affection such that I was unwittingly creating all her behavioral problems, I was literally creating an unbalanced dog! There is no doubt that the intention is noble and good, however if we do it from the human perspective, we are actually doing more harm than good to our loyal companion. We cannot interpret affection to our dogs like the way we show affection to another human, instead we have to do it in their way.
Leadership
Contrary to the belief that affection for our dogs equals to giving them freedom, to let them run around our household and do as they deem fit. A dog living with his human pack that does not provide his need for leadership, will take it upon his shoulder to be the leader. A dog becomes the alpha of his human will disregard his owners instructions as he sees himself as the leader of the pack, and everything in the 'large kennel' is his possession and that is where behavioral problems emerge. In some situations, behavioral problems is a result of the dog inability to cope with the tremendous stress place on him as a leader, as he will always be trying to be on top of everything.
Through observing my dogs and the numerous books that I have read on dogs, I have come to realize that the first thing that we need to provide our dogs with is leadership. Dogs in their natural environment are born into a pack and they lived as a pack. They are hardwired by nature to look up to their alpha for directions, the innate need for leadership is build within them in the DNA. They need someone whom they can follow, but they are also selective of who they follow. They will never follow a leader who projects a negative or weak aura around them as that translate to unstable energy for them. Ever seen how a mother dog handle her pups? She is always calm and firm, she communicates with her pups through her calm and assertive energy and physical touches, and her pups will just fall in line. So if you want to love your dog, show him that you are a worthy leader by projecting your calm and assertive aura, he will be able to sense it and it will help him to be calm as well.
Rules and limits
The next thing you need to do is to establish rules and limits for your dog. A dog that lives without rules and boundaries will soon find himself overwhelm by the world around him. By exercising rules and setting limitations for them you are teaching your dog how to behave and live in your pack, which requires a great deal of focus from him which in turns drains him out and helps him to expand his energy. Just like how our world function with laws and regulations, likewise for a dog's world, they need rules and boundaries to function. However this will be impossible if you have yet to establish your role as a leader in your dog's eye.
Exercise
Exercising has the effect of helping a dog release his energy. The amount of exercising varies for every dog and is dependent on his energy level. A high energy dog would probably require up to three sessions on a single day with duration of 60 minutes each. A good form of exercising would be walking, but this is not just about bringing your dog out and letting him pull you on the leash, because it will be him walking you instead. By walking you dog, I am referring to keeping him by your side and slightly behind you. And while walking he must be discipline and calm not to be distracted by the things around him. And you as his leader plays a significant role in this.
Like I always advocate, a calm and firm aura is essential, the next thing you need to do is to condition him to focus on following you throughout the walk. This means that you as the leader have to correct his unacceptable behavior immediately through your aura and your touch and replace it with an acceptable behavior, much like how the mother dog discipline her pups. For example, if your dog get all excited whenever he sees the neighbor's dog, you can distract and block him mentally from going into that excited state of mind whenever you notice his physical que by giving him a firm tap. And get him into a behavior that you would prefer, such as sit. The whole idea here is to condition him to ignore all other things and focus on you.
Affection
Lastly affection must always be earn. It can be as simple as your dog listening to your command, and once he has executed your command and got into a calm state, you can give him all the affection you want. It is important to condition you dog to understand that he will have to earn your affection and he will only receives affection when he is calm and submissive. It is important to note here that giving affection to your dog at inappropriate time could have an adverse effect on him. By inappropriate I am referring to situations where the dog is excited, aggressive or fearful. By giving the dog our affection and attention, we are nurturing that state of mind that the dog is in and therefore doing it when the dog is not in a calm state can be detrimental to both dog and human.
And so in summary, to love your dog you have got to become his leader by:
1. projecting a calm and assertive aura
2. setting rules and boundaries for your dog
3. provide you dog with enough challenge to drain his excess energy so as to help him so into a calm and submissive state
4. provide affection and attention after your dog had earn it and only when he is in a calm state of mind
Recommended reads:
How to Raise the Perfect Dog: Through Puppyhood and Beyond
Be the Pack Leader: Use Cesar's Way to Transform Your Dog . . . and Your Life
Cesar's Rules: Your Way to Train a Well-Behaved Dog
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